Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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