I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize