They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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