Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize