dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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