so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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