3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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