so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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