READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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