That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You took a bar mat shot.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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