and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
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Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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