this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize