if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
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And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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