I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize