You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
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you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
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What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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