some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
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That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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