You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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