You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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