i'm signing you up for texting rehab
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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