Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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