One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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