I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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