if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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