I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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