She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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