that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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