Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize