is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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