dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize