My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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