And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
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My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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