He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
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Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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