Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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