She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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