We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
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