I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize