so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
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Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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