Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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