who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
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I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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