i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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