Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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