It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize