So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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