Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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