Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Too much gin, very little bucket
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize