All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
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I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
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Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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