She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Randomize