I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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