I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize