I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize